Bygone Birthdays
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Marsha Livingston Barnes
This week, I celebrate my birthday. I won’t mention the age that comes with it. For most adults, birthdays are just another day and an unwanted reminder of how quickly time passes. As children, however, chances are we anticipated birthdays much more. The modern take on birthdays isn’t what I remember as a child. Birthdays today tend to involve more money and more fanfare. Years ago, most of us were lucky to have a mama-made cake and a single present. Although today’s celebrations are much more elaborate, I do still have a few truly memorable birthdays.
My earliest memory of an actual “party” was when I turned six. Mama had two little daughters with birthdays in August and other small children at home. Because of this, I’m sure having an actual birthday party with all the extras was simply out of the question. But this birthday was memorable because of the special cake Mama made me and because I invited my precious elderly neighbor, Mrs. Agnes Miley, to come have cake with me outside. She and I sat at the picnic table under the pines as I proudly told her – as only a clueless little girl could – “Today is my birthday!” I felt like a queen for a day. In a household with many children and busy parents, just setting aside a few minutes to focus on ME was the best birthday present I could have received.
As the years passed and I grew older, I wanted the typical slumber-party sleepover birthdays, and Mama acquiesced. I think she still made my cakes, though. I remember two distinct slumber party birthdays. One involved my being upset over how much time two of my friends spent with my older sister. Watching two of my friends try to “hang out” with my cooler, older sister was not something I had anticipated. Luckily, Lee Anne was not interested in us kids and soon bored with the annoying younger girls. Another funny birthday party memory was one that was downright inexplicable at the time. One of my guests showed up a weekend too early for my big day. When asked why she and her mom were at my door, she said, “You called me and told me that the party had been rescheduled!” Mama looked at me as if to say, “No, she didn’t.” My friend and I ended up having a fun day regardless as the two mothers tried to solve the mystery. Later, the culprit was identified: a friend of mine who didn’t want my other friend attending. Girl drama, whew!
Nothing, however, compared to the surprise birthday party given to me in l990. Thinking I was headed to the Neshoba County Fair, I was aggravated when I realized I was being taken to Lee Anne’s house. Please know that some of my best memories happened at Lee Anne’s house, but on this night, I had not anticipated being taken to my sister’s place. On top of that, I saw one of my talkative relative’s cars in her driveway – I was not pleased. I remember saying, “Oh my gosh! What is SHE doing here? We’ll never get out of here!” Imagine the shock I felt as I walked into my sister’s house and saw practically every single one of my close living relatives! Both sides of my family were there. I couldn’t wrap my mind around what was happening. Lee Anne was even surprised when the cake brought out had her name on it too. If you have lost both parents, both sets of grandparents, most aunts and uncles, and several cousins, you can understand how poignant a memory that night is now. Like most young people, I didn’t realize how truly precious that night would be for me. The few photographs I’ve seen of that night show both the Waggoners and the Livingstons laughing and visiting. What I would give to relive that night now.
Today’s bashes may be more elaborate and expensive, but I know that fact doesn’t diminish the joy I felt on my birthdays of years gone by. As a mother, my interest in birthdays today centers around those of my boys. My own just aren’t very thrilling anymore. The best birthday gifts are my family and more time to spend with them. I pray for those birthday gifts every year.
